No Heavy Petting

 

There is more than enough evidence Donald Trump’s behavior since January 20th is “unpresidented.”  However, there is one important departure from past history which seems to have alluded the mainstream media.  Of the 44 individuals who have sat behind the desk in the oval office, James K. Polk and Trump are the only incumbents without canine or feline companionship.  From George Washington’s American Staghounds (Sweetlips, Scentwell and Vulcan) to Barack Obama’s Portuguese Water Dogs (Bo and Sunny), every previous president. with these two exceptions, has sought the counsel of four-legged advisers.

Some White House pets have become best-selling authors as in the case of Millie’s Book, co-written by First Lady Barbara Bush.  Others have been called upon as political cover for their masters, the most famous incident involving the Nixon family’s Cocker Spaniel Checkers.  Lesser known was the September 23, 1944 Fala speech, during which President Franklin Roosevelt channeled his Scottish Terrier to undercut charges of malfeasance by his political opponents.

These Republican leaders have not been content with attacks on me, or my wife, or on my sons. No, not content with that, they now include my little dog, Fala. Well, of course, I don’t resent attacks, and my family don’t resent attacks, but Fala does resent them. You know, Fala is Scotch, and being a Scottie, as soon as he learned that the Republican fiction writers in Congress and out had concocted a story that I’d left him behind on an Aleutian island and had sent a destroyer back to find him—at a cost to the taxpayers of two or three, or eight or twenty million dollars—his Scotch soul was furious.

While the majority of fauna residing at 1600 Pennsylvania or at the chief executive’s personal residence are canine or feline, there are exceptions.  Consider the following.

  • Thomas Jefferson had two bear cubs.
  • John Quincy Adams had a pet alligator, a gift from the Maquis de Lafayette.
  • James Buchanan had a pet eagle.
  • Andrew Johnson continually cared for white mice he found in his bedroom.
  • Benjamin Harrison kept two opossums (Mr. Reciprocity and Mr. Protection).
  • Theodore Roosevelt, not surprisingly, included a lizard, garter snake, small bear, barn owl, hyena and a one-legged rooster in his personal menagerie.
  • Calvin Coolidge also maintained the equivalent of a private zoo which housed a tiger, bobcat, pygmy hippopotamus, wallaby, antelope and black bear.
  • Not to be outdone by John Quincy Adams, Herbert Hoover included TWO alligators among his pets.

With the arrival of son Barron at the White House, some Trump watchers have speculated a four-legged addition to the executive mansion might be in the offing.  Which of course has lit up social media.  Will the Trumps select a dog, a cat or a more exotic species?  New York Times columnist Alex Beam suggests people often choose a pet that best reflects the owner’s personality.  Beam wonders if a ferret might be most appropriate in this case. (Source: New York Times, April 15, 2017)

My bet is the White House will remain a sanctuary reserved for homo sapiens.  After all, His Orangeness is a known germaphobe.  Dog hair or cat dander seems like an unwelcome intrusion on his sterilized space.  But what about Barron?  Fear not.  He will surely be surrounded by human playmates.  In fact, Barron BFF is rumored to be Sean Spicer’s next job title.

Spoiler: Fake News Alert

According to several unnamed sources, some who were Trump’s classmates at the New York Military Academy, the future oval office occupant’s aversion to household pets stems from an incident during his junior year on the Cornwall, New York campus.  During the morning assembly, the young Donald was attacked and bitten by the school’s mascot, a Siberian husky named Sergei.

LITTLE KNOWN UPDATE: Following the incident, Sergei had to be treated for rabies.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP

2 thoughts on “No Heavy Petting

Comments are closed.