The following is a parody of a 1959 episode (Season 03/Episode 24) of The Twilight Zone titled, “To Serve Man.”*
You’re traveling through another dimension–a dimension not only where many chose not to see or hear, a dimension of the mindless, a journey into a dysfunctional land whose boundaries are shattered by the warped imagination of Donald Trump. Your next stop, the TwiWhite Zone.
We were preoccupied with the hands on a clock when we should have been checking off a calendar. It was June 2015, and it was noon then, too. And people walked and drove and bought and sold and fretted and laughed. The world went on much as it had been going on with a tentative tiptoeing along a precipice of crisis There was North Korea, Iran and Syria and the other myriad problems, major and minor that somehow had lost their incisive edge of horror because we were so familiar with them.
And then that is when it happened. That’s when we first heard he had come. That’s when we should have prepared ourselves for any eventuality, but we didn’t. Instead, we milled around like frightened farm animals looking for father images. At noon, today, eastern daylight time, the landing took place in the lobby of Trump Tower.
[THE ALIEN TAKES THE STAGE]
THE ALIEN (Donald Trump):
(SPEAKING IN THE THIRD PERSON) What is the motive of this man, offering such great gifts to the people of the United States? I hope the American people will understand and believe when I tell you that my mission is simply this: To bring to you the piece (sic) and plenty which I enjoy. When you have no more hunger, no more war, no more needless suffering, that will be my reward.
And Santa Claus came through. The deserts became golf courses and the wall ended immigration.
And one year later, women stand in line waiting for the tram that will take them to the spa at one of the Mar-a-Lago or Doral franchises which now dot the landscape. They react as if this were a weekend picnic in the country. Nothing fazes them.
[LOOKS DOWN AT A CODED BOOK]
I’m still working on that book. Deciphering the title has been of no help because the capital letters are different from the other signs, just as ours are. But it’s starting to fall into place.
[ONE YEAR LATER]
I gave up trying a month ago. My wife has been begging me to give her a Trump spa vacation for her birthday. I’m not sure I can resist much longer.
[TRAM STATION. CHAMBERS WATCHES AS HIS WIFE BOARDS]
Mr. Chambers! Mr. Chambers! Don’t let her get on that tram! The rest of the book, “Women for Trump,” it’s not about campaign strategy, it’s one of Jeffrey Epstein’s day planners.
How about you? Is your wife or girlfriend at home or has she boarded the tram to oblivion? It doesn’t make much difference because sooner or later, they’ll all be in the book–all of them, a footnote in a day planner. It’s tonight’s book club selection in The TwiWhite Zone.
*Original screenplay by Rod Serling, based on a story by Damon Knight.
For what it’s worth.