Birx’ Law


If people can social distance and do those things, then they can do those things.  I don’t know how, but people are very creative.

~Dr. Deborah Birx

The above quote is Dr. Birx’ response to the following question by CBS White House Correspondent Steven Portnoy during Tuesday’s “press beefing”.  “How do you safely have hair salons and nail salons and tattoo parlors where people have to be inherently close together?”

For someone who has spent the last 20 years of his life researching and teaching the art and science of creativity, I welcome the challenge.  Below are just a few ideas to placate the “Liberate Coronavirus” protesters.

Barbershops with Roomba Shave™

Purell-Based Tattoos™

Paintball Nail Salons™

Drone Bowling™

And finally, for Mayor Carolyn Goodman of Las Vegas, Masked One-Armed Bandits™

I encourage readers to suggest other innovative ways to re-open the economy.  No suggestion is too outrageous as no Trumpster is too gullible.  Your time stamped comment on this site can serve as evidence of copyright in case Alex Jones, Sean Hannity or Laura Ingraham makes your concept the next hydroxychloroquine.

For what it’s worth.  Stay safe.

5 thoughts on “Birx’ Law

  1. Hilarious, as always! Thanks for brightening my day. It’s not too late for you to run for President.

  2. Two learned men with differing opinions: Ron White said, “You can’t fix stupid.” But Charles Darwin had another theory.

  3. One reader made the following observation. “Where is Edward Scissorshands when we really need him?”

  4. Wonderful, a little levity right now is refreshing.
    Could the gun owners and bowlers join forces. Maybe shooting the pins at the alley would allow social distancing.

  5. Some dark humor from The NY Times today: shouldn’t we wait until after the pandemic to fill out the census?

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